We interrupt this program for an emergency announcement.
I am experiencing a Mom Meltdown.
All I’ve ever wanted to do is write and yet I don’t. I wanted to write a great novel, in the beginning. Now my imagination is filled with writing some great book of encouragement that will help mother’s leave the work force and stay at home, home schooling their children. And yet how am I supposed to write such a book, when quite honestly I don’t want to be at home. It would be so much easier to have some high power career position where I can go and be someone important. Because right now I’m really tired of being a fruitcake.
I’m tired of listening to how others could never do this. “Oh that’s so wonderful, but I could never do it!” Quite honestly I’m at the place where it just makes me angry, or worse, it makes me weep.
What I hear is: “Well, it sucks to be you!” And this from the people I choose to spend time with.
What they mean of course is that they don’t want to do it – because it is apparently terrible to do.
And I’m beginning to believe it. My life is chaotic, full of menial tasks, and I get no encouragement from any of those around me. I hate being me.
This insipid eating away at my self-confidence is killing me.
(uncomfortable silence of all those around me who just don’t know how to respond…)
Back to your regularly programmed feature.